Update #13 - Today is one of those days

 

Yes I know today is Tuesday.  Yes I know I should have posted on Sunday.  Yes I know I didn't post at all last week. 

Here is the thing.  Well actually a couple of things. 

First - I have a finished project, a pair of socks, but I can't post pictures because they are a test knit for next years' SuperSock World Championship.  Because of working on said socks I have not made anymore progress on my 54 pickup blanket. 

Second - I have cast on a toque to match my Heather Gansey that I knit last spring, but it is not really picture worthy as it is just two inches of ribbing at this point. 

Third - Some days go like this for me:

I become aware that I am awake and still trying to figure out the peculiarities of a dream I was having. The second I acknowledge I am awake I am aware of the anxiety that lives in my gut.  It feels like the butterflies you get before you have to give a speech, or present a project, only these butterflies have no reason to be there - there is no 'event' on the horizon, except the main event called 'life'. 

I reach for my robe, noticing that my husband is still sound asleep.  This means that there will be no coffee made.  This means I have to make it.  I don't want to.

I stand in the middle of kitchen looking at the espresso machine (it is quite noisy), and the kettle. I contemplate for a brief moment not having any coffee and just going to the couch to turn on the heating pad for my very sore back.  I am aware that everything is sore at this moment. 

I opt for the kettle.  How hard can it be? I ask myself.  

The answer?

Hard. 

I fill the kettle and put it on the burner.  As the burner turns to bright red I see smoke rising from the element - vestiges of last nights' dinner either on the burner, or on the bottom of the kettle.  I don't want to set the smoke alarm off so I remove the kettle and turn off the element. 

A deep breath.  I wipe the burner.  I wipe the bottom of the kettle.  I put the kettle back on the burner and start again.  I watch for a couple of minutes to make sure the smoke will not continue. 

I spoon five tablespoons of coffee into the bodium. I put the thermos in the sink.  I get my mug down from the shelf. The kettle starts to boil.  I pick it up before the whistle sounds.  

I pour the boiling water into the bodium and a little into the thermos to warm it up. 

I set the timer for four minutes. 

This is exhausting. 

I open the fridge to get out the two litre jug of milk and pour some into my mug.  I am astonished at how heavy two litres of milk can be. 

I put the mug into the microwave.  The timer beeps.  Four minutes is up.  I push the plunger of the bodium down very carefully and then set the microwave for thirty seconds to heat up the milk. 

I empty the hot water out of the thermos and pour the extra coffee into it for my husband to have when he wakes up. 

The microwave beeps.  I take out my mug and fill it the rest of the way with coffee. 

I walk to the couch.  I sit.  I put the heating pad on my lower back. I shake out the first half of the pills and vitamins I take before breakfast.  I wash them all down with the first hot sip of my coffee.  

I am exhausted.  

Making that pot of coffee felt like climbing fricking Mount Everest.  

It shouldn't be this hard. 

But it is. 

Somedays are like that.

Today was like that.

After lunch I went bird watching with my son.  It was lovely but the two kilometers was far too much.  I had to trick myself to keep going when all I wanted to do was sit down on the middle of the path and wail. 

It is too hard.  

I know why today is a hard day.  Today is a hard day for lots of people.  Maybe today was a hard day for you. 

But you know what? 

I can do hard things.  I can do hard things that someone else wouldn't think were hard at all. 

My point? 

Today is just one of those days.  Today is just a day.  

Tomorrow will be better.

Update #11 - I did cast on something else!

 

Oh my, here it is Tuesday and I have yet to post.  I'll get right on that. 

First - last week I visited my sister on her little island.  It was heavenly.  Four ocean swims, a poetry reading, good conversations, good food, one craft market and one Fall Fair.  What more could anyone ask for?  And then when I arrived home yesterday my dear son was there - visiting from one province over.  

I did finally cast on the test knit.  Well actually I cast it on FOUR times as I just couldn't get the toe-up cast-on to look right.  Fourth time was the charm and I am now on row 12 of the pattern.  Of course I can't show you until next summer when the pattern will be released but suffice to say I am very pleased with the progress despite the difficult beginning. 

I finished one sock that is part of a knit a long. 

I will post the pattern name once the mystery knit is published. 

My 54 Card pick-up is in progress but I only managed another five rows so a picture won't show much progress. 

I did receive some gifts of yarn from my sister - and I am sure these will turn into socks one day. 

So all in all a very good week.  And what is not to love about a place where you can have views like these ones. 

I will try to post on time next week, but no promises.  As I said my son is here and he is turning 40 on Friday so there will be cake!  And a few games of Wingspan (I will beat him one of these days. )

Update #10 - Will I ever cast on anything else?

 

Well, again this week it was all about 'the blanket'.  I finished the third row last night. 

Last night before bed I had to fiddle with my printer to get the colours correct on the next set of patterns.  

Other than that I did manage five ocean swims last week.  Each one at least 30 minutes.  A new friend joined me, on Friday and it was nice to have the company as I usually swim alone. 

I am in the throes of proof reading the galley for White Rabbit to be available in paperback which is an interesting process.  The novel is, in part, autobiographical - written in 2016 - and it is quite the experience to read and resonant with the words on the page.  

My sock pattern sales are coming in and that is very exciting.  It is so rewarding to see the pattern knit up with different yarns and colours. 

Speaking of sock patterns, I have committed to testing a pattern, and I really must get it cast on - I am sure once I do that I will be quick to work through the pattern.  I am testing the small, 56 stitches, so it will likely be a gift for my daughter when it is done. 

I hope all the Year of Project participants are doing well on their to-do lists.  I will visit their posts in the coming days.  

Today?  Today I will swim.  And knit.  and probably do the dishes and sweep the floor.  Probably. 

Year of Projects #9 - I can see progress

 

As I continue with my monogamous knitting I have been working steadily on my 54 pickup blanket. 

It is very rewarding to see the second row of cards.  There have been a few 'oopsies' when I see an error and have to ladder down a few rows to correct a colour, or an errand thread that has landed on the outside of the work rather than being hidden on the inside.  It is slow knitting because with double-knitting every other stitch is a purl and I have to make sure that the two colours I am not knitting with stay hidden inside the work.  I have finally perfected a way to knit without the colours getting all tangled.  I have the white yarn always on my left and I pick it European style, and the red and blank I hold in my right hand with my index finger always in between them so they don't have a chance to tangle.  This makes each row much faster and I don't have to untangle the three colours at the end of each row like I had to when I first started the blanket. 

I have been thinking that it would have been better to have made the blanket 9 x 6, rather than 6 x 9, but I am definitely not going to go back and change that now!

I did start on Jemima Puddleduck (she is a commission) but I have been enjoying the blanket knitting so much that poor Jemima is only a 'twinkle in my eye' as my mother would say. 

I did four ocean swims this past week, and plan another for today.  The water temperature is heading down, but I still managed thirty minute swims.  

I got the galley copy of my novel 'White Rabbit' and I am heading towards being able to have it published in paperback very soon. 

I start back to work tomorrow.  I volunteer at a mental health centre every Tuesday.  I lead a mindful journaling hour.  I have been also hired to work with peers in mental health recovery for ten hours a month.  I haven't been assigned anyone yet, but I expect to now that September is here. 

And speaking of September, today, September 1st, is the day my father died - fifty-two years ago.  I miss him terribly.  Yesterday I was remembering dancing with him at my sister's rehearsal dinner.  He is never far from my mind, and I know he is watching over me from that great beyond.  

I always think of September as my 'new year'.  Time to turn the page.  Start anew.  Make a plan.

Or?

Or maybe just keep going.  Swim.  Write.  Study.  Be. 

Just Be. 

Hmm. Now there is an idea. 

Blessings to all who look upon this time of year as a new beginning.  

And Blessing to all you are just going forward one day at a time. 

Oh, and one more thing.  My sock design, Me Too! Me Too! that was used in Supersock World Championship is now for sale on Ravelry.