Maybe it doesn't matter

Funny title for a blog, no? I am not even sure what it means, but I think it has to do with my future. I want to do something important with the next fifty years of my life - and what does that look like?

So, yes, I am retired, and no, I don't know what I am doing. I do know that I want to contribute to this world of ours. Is that writing? Is that being a mentor?

Or is it just being there for others: husband, son, daughter, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, friends....well, you get the idea. Sometimes a cup of tea, chili around a campfire, wine at the bar, or lunch in the village is not just something frivolous, or entertaining. Sometimes, often, it is a connection of one soul to another. Sometimes it is being there for someone, sometimes it is being brave enough to allow another to be there for me.

And sometimes, it is ok to just have that glass of wine, or ice-cream, or lunch and laugh and feel companionship.

I don't ever want to live alone. If that should ever be in my future I hope I have the courage to form a community of others to live together, companionably, sometimes in silence, sometimes in noisy enthusiasm.

I have so many friends - maybe that is what matters. Maybe that is what it is all about. Because I believe it does matter. We all matter. All the lives we touch in those fleeting moments, days, or years matter.

A friend recently posted the question "What is Faith?" For me, today, faith is that things matter. People matter. My existence matters. Faith is that even though I don't know why it matters, I just know it does.