Sunday, July 9, 2017

Year Of Projects - Week Two - Turning the Heel

Sometimes in life all you can do is put one foot in front of the other. You walk.

Sometimes in life you take one more stroke and then one more. You swim.

Sometimes in life you just keep paddling, or rowing, or breathing.

And, sometimes all you can do is cry.

Our family lost a dear man two weeks ago. I was the best man at his wedding. He was the best man to all who knew him.

So here I am, keeping company with those of us in grief, and when I can I pick up my knitting.

There is something soothing about making a stitch, and then another.

My sister and I sometimes knit in silence, sometimes we talk, sometimes we just put our knitting down in our laps and we cry.

I did turn the heel this week.

It took me two tries, and a fair bit of tinking, and except for a tiny hole, which I can fix when I sew in the ends, it is good.

It is better than good.

Because sometimes if you just keep moving forward, even with some backward steps in the middle, you will get to where you want.

My family is not sure where we want to be right now. We know who we would like to be with us, but that is not what the fates had in store.

I know that I can hear his voice as he looks at my sock-in-progress. "You did that?!" he would say.

Yes, I did that. This week, when it seemed that sometimes the ache was too deep, I kept knitting and I turned the heel. And when the socks are finished I will think of him whenever I wear them.

Sometimes carrying on is all we can do.

Sometimes it is the least we can do.

I know he is watching us and sending us signs that it will all be okay in the end.

If it's not okay, it's not the end.


  1. I'm very sorry for your loss. You do what you gotta do. Sending a hug to you.

  2. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope this coming weeks helps ease the pain a little bit. Turning a heel is wonderful especially when you are inan emotional state.

  3. Carrying on and remembering kind words and occasions. Yes. Nice heel

  4. I'm very sorry for you loss, healing time is slow and steady and at stages is just putting one foot in front of the other. Take comfort in each other, be kind to your selves and allow yourselves the time needed no matter how long or short to grieve.

  5. What a beautiful post, Mary-Anne. Your words touched me deeply. Thank you for sharing.

  6. I am so sorry for your loss. You need to care for yourselves right now and give yourself as much time as you need.

  7. You will again find yourself in both the middle and a state of OK... never the same...always a tender messy hole, like a freshly pulled tooth... but OK.
    Love and hugs and prayers.

  8. So sorry to hear that Roger died. I know that you and your family will miss having him be a part of your lives.

  9. It's a very pretty heel. Nicely done.

    I'm sorry to hear one of your loved ones died. I've had quite a few people I cared for die and it never gets any easier, no matter how often you go through it. My thoughts are with you. It's good you aren't alone with your grief. Sharing really does double the happiness and halve the pain.

  10. I am so sorry for your loss, I hope you find some comfort. Sending you hugs xx

  11. Hi Mary-Anne, I came here for the YOP post, and I'm very sorry to read that you lost someone so dear. Take care.

  12. I'm so sorry. Please take care.

  13. I must have missed this post last week. I am so sorry , Mary. By our age we've all experiencing losing people we love but unfortunately it never gets easier. My prayers for peace and grace are with you.

  14. I missed this post somehow. Sorry to hear of your loss. I'm glad you're still knitting.

  15. I am so sorry for your loss, Mary-Anne. "Reading backwards" I can see from your posts since that you have been navigating grief, travelling and finding ways to cope. Please find comfort in the knowledge that even half way across the world there are people who are empathising with you and wishing you well. Hugs to you.


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