Year Of Projects - Week Two - Turning the Heel

Sometimes in life all you can do is put one foot in front of the other. You walk.

Sometimes in life you take one more stroke and then one more. You swim.

Sometimes in life you just keep paddling, or rowing, or breathing.

And, sometimes all you can do is cry.

Our family lost a dear man two weeks ago. I was the best man at his wedding. He was the best man to all who knew him.

So here I am, keeping company with those of us in grief, and when I can I pick up my knitting.

There is something soothing about making a stitch, and then another.

My sister and I sometimes knit in silence, sometimes we talk, sometimes we just put our knitting down in our laps and we cry.

I did turn the heel this week.

It took me two tries, and a fair bit of tinking, and except for a tiny hole, which I can fix when I sew in the ends, it is good.

It is better than good.

Because sometimes if you just keep moving forward, even with some backward steps in the middle, you will get to where you want.

My family is not sure where we want to be right now. We know who we would like to be with us, but that is not what the fates had in store.

I know that I can hear his voice as he looks at my sock-in-progress. "You did that?!" he would say.

Yes, I did that. This week, when it seemed that sometimes the ache was too deep, I kept knitting and I turned the heel. And when the socks are finished I will think of him whenever I wear them.

Sometimes carrying on is all we can do.

Sometimes it is the least we can do.

I know he is watching us and sending us signs that it will all be okay in the end.

If it's not okay, it's not the end.