And not be sad

"But I want to be clear, I’m not trying to be anyone’s savior. I’m just trying to think about the future and not be sad."
"Elon Musk, Ted Talks, 2017

Those words of Elon Musk have been going around and around in my brain this past week since I heard his interview last Friday. Especially the four words 'and not be sad'.

That is what I want. I want to wake up in the morning and not be sad. I want to go to bed at night and not be sad. I want to go through my day and not be sad.

"Oh easy for Leonardo"

**

I am awaiting an appointment at Hope Centre. I am looking at trying some different medications. I am looking to talk to someone. I have a couple of groups I might try.

Today my anxious stomach was in full throttle so I decided rather than taking the orange pill I would go for a walk in the rain - return a book to the library - maybe vote.

I did.
I walked.
I voted.
I returned the book.

The thought of walking home was overwhelming. I thought of calling my husband to come get me.

Then I thought I could just start walking and get him to pick me up somewhere along the route.

Then I thought I could just walk to the bottom of the big hill and get him to pick me up there.

I couldn't imagine how I would get up that hill feeling the way I did.

But then?

Then I started to walk home one foot in front of the other.

I got to the bottom of the hill.

And one foot in front of the other I made it to the top.

I made it home.

One foot in front of the other.

And not be sad?

I am still sad.

But I am home. I did make it to the top of the hill.

One day I will not be sad.

One foot in front of the other.

This post was written May 5, 2017 - Today is a better day. Not the best, but better. One foot in front of the other.

**line from A Child's Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas

Yopping Week 45 - sewing things together

Ta-da!



The Elizabeth Zimmerman sweater is done - ends sewn in, buttons on and shoulder seams sewn. I am very very happy with the fit and reminding myself that trusting the pattern indeed works.



and no, it isn't blocked yet, because, well, I am avoiding that at the moment.

I was planning to lengthen the sleeves but I finished all the stash yarn I had for this project. At one point last Sunday I had decided to go to my local yarn store and buy five different colours of worsted to add to the sleeves, but as I walked there calmer heads prevailed (as my uncle would say), and I realized how silly it was to buy yarn for a stash sweater. If I want to add longer sleeves in the future with some leftover yarn from other projects that is always an option. I have worn the sweater out on two occasions and received nice compliments and I am liking the sleeves just the way they are.

I did get the baby blanket seamed with nice flat seems after relying on YouTube tutorials to help me out. I ended up seaming loop to loop and not loop to knot because I like the way it lies better.



I started the edging and got about 1/3 of the way done (30 twelve row repeats) and realized it was pulling funny because I was attaching every row to the main blanket rather that every other row. So I ripped out 355 rows of edging and began again and I am much happier with my progress.



Blocking this baby blanket will be a trial but I am loving how it is turning out and it will be so worth it. (And probably once I start blocking it the EZ sweater will follow suit. I like to block en masse because I think misery does love company).

I am using pins to mark the stitches that have to be picked up and to keep myself on track with the twelve repeat pattern. So far so good.




I am a bit nervous that I am seriously playing yarn chicken with this border because I figure I need 77 gms and 77 gms is what I have....sooooooo.....fingers crossed (and toes too). I am also a bit at a loss about the corners - the tutorials say to short row the pattern to add ease around the corners but that seems very vague at this point. Hopefully I will intuit something by the time I get to the first corner.

I did start the Dizzy sweater by Holli Yeoh because I serendipitously found another ball of yarn at my local yarn store that is pretty close to a perfect match. It has a interesting rolled hem after the ribbing. Cute, eh?



And, I started another pair of socks for hubby, because I went to a candidate meeting and needed something mindless to knit. Here I am ready for the heel but waiting till I knit the 2nd sock this far.



So that is my update - I won't be tackling anything this week except the baby blanket border.

And then I want to get back to my Iona. It is calling to me, and feeling very left out these days.



Happy Yopping everyone. My goodness the time is flying by - July will be here before we know it!