November 4 - It used to be pens

It used to be pens.  When I felt at odds with the world I believed it could be solved by a trip to a stationary store.  Coloured post-its, pencil crayons, felt tip markers could all sooth my ruffled feathers.  At least for a while.

Now it seems to be books.  I have two books I have downloaded from the library on my e-reader, one hard copy book from same library and I just bought another book with daily meditations for the year.  This on top of the book I bought while on the island not to mention the two journals I have recently purchased. 

"And?", you might ask.

Well, I have partially read one book on the e-reader, read about 4 pages of the hard cover book, and leaf through the meditation book daily, but nothing is holding my interest.  So it isn't the reading of books, it seems to be the acquiring of them. 

I think this is why I have decided to blog everyday this month.  Because maybe something will shift. Maybe I will stop looking for peace in a purchase. 

I was at school all day today observing three classes and meeting with two teachers.  It was a good day.  I think I was some support to the teachers, and I enjoyed my interactions with the children.  Mostly though I am content knowing that I made some money today to help pay some bills after some unexpected car and truck repairs. I am wondering if my time of working is coming to an end.  I like the extra money but don't like the deadlines and having to be somewhere at a certain time.  After I have finished these next two contracts I think I will decide to not take on anything until perhaps next summer.  Just a thought, but one that is percolating. 

After supper I did the dishes and currently there are cookies in the oven.  I have knit a little.  Watched TV a little, but mostly sat on a heating pad to give my hip some relief. 

So, even though I am very tired (stupid time change) it is too early for bed so I will hang in with my knitting for another hour or so. 

Here is what I read today as I leafed through The pocket Pema Chodron

#62 Look for the gaps

In my own training, I've been taught to looks for the gaps:  the gap at the end of each out-breath; the space between thoughts; the naturally occurring, nonconceptual pause after a sudden shock, unexpected noise, or moment of awe. Trungpa Rinpoche advised intentionally creating these gaps by pausing to look at the sky or stopping to listen intently.  He called this "poking holes in the clouds."
These fleeting moments of no-big-deal me, no internal conversations, no frozen opinions, are very simple yet powerful.  The utter freshness of just being present introduces us to unshakable confidence; a lionlike pride that refuses to buy into any negative or limiting story lines. 

So ya, it used to be pens.  I think, at least for a while, I will look for the gap. 

Yopping Update #18 - It's the little things (apparently)

Ta-Da!

syd the sloth

And he has all 12 toes, because he is a 3 toed sloth! 

Quickly followed this week by this little toadstool baby:

why do all my dolls looks so sad?

I love the leaf pattern for this little baby to curl up in, and I plan to make some little gnomes with leaf beds too. 

re-did face - not so sad

Now that the little things are out of the way I started another shawl, because, well, I always need another shawl.  This one is Clapotis from Knitty and I have made it before out of iron gray for around the campfire.  This one will be for more dressy occasions I think.  It is a simple knit for netflixing (new verb) and I love get to unravel a row of stitches every 12 rows.  This was the yarn I got at Walmart for 1 dollar a ball.  I have 2 balls and will just make it as big as the yarn I have.  I love the fall colours.

And speaking of fall:

I am working all day tomorrow (I am tired just thinking of it), and what with the time change it already feels like bedtime and it is only 5:30!.  To be fair I have already gone to a workshop today and to the pool, plus lunch in the sunshine with my hubby and 90 minutes writing up a report for said work tomorrow.  Oh, and the dishes.

So now I am heating up some pea soup and getting my knitting so I can settle in to watch Heartland and the rerun of the season finale of Battle of the Blades.  Yesterday we filled five giant compost bags with limb trimmings and all that bending and stretching was not so kind to my hip.  So me and my heating pad (and my hubby) are on the couch until bedtime. 

That's soon right? 

PS:  I am participating in NaBloPoMo this month so this is post #3 for that. 

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