Where is the happiness muse?

It is interesting that when I am happy and life is going well I have less inclination to write. My daughter says the same thing about composing songs. It seems like the writers' muse is a melancholic one.

Perhaps this is my challenge today, to find my muse in the blue sky, the singing birds, the peace in my heart.

I wrote this poem when I was 15:

Take me
Not as I could be
Not as I would be
But as I am.

Care for me
In later years
With all behind us still

And no regrets or wishful hopes
of what I wasn't then.

Mary-Anne Taylor
1970


I have loved this poem all of my life. I recite it to myself from time to time. It has stayed with me. Become my mantra of a sort.

It has manifested in my life.

Later this summer we will have been married thirty-seven years. This past Easter weekend marked our thirty-eighth year together. We started out as friends. We are still friends.

Morning.
Sitting quietly by your side
you, watching the river
me, reading a book.

The sounds of nature surround us
the promise of another day
unfolding in its own time
in our own time
in this place
together.

Campfire.
Sitting by your side
you, playing guitar
me, singing
the same songs we have song
for thirty-eight years.

We could learn
some new songs
but the old ones
have served us so well.


Mary-Anne Taylor
May 31, 2014

What a difference a year makes

A year ago I was sitting at my kitchen table wondering if we would ever get away on our holiday to the Yukon to visit our son. I was not happy.

I think an email showed up about Weight Watchers online having a special - free to join and a deal for three months.

I signed up.

I have since lost the equivalent of a five year old child.

My knees don't hurt anymore when I go up and down stairs to do the laundry.

My feet don't hurt anymore, and I can walk for an hour easily.

I can swim a mile at a time.

I am wearing clothes four sizes smaller.

I am more content with my life as a retiree, although since September I have worked quite a bit with subbing, and mentoring and tutoring. The extra 'pin' money, as my dh calls it, is a nice side benefit.

We were away for two months in Yukon and Alaska and saw bears and mountain goats, moose and elk, lynx and porcupines. We lived for a time in the land of the midnight sun.

I milked a sheep, saw baby geese swim for he first time, and planted seedlings in my son's garden.

The year had some surprises. I broke my arm on our camping trip, and spent the next three months recovering and having alot of physio to avoid frozen shoulder syndrome. Except for a wee bit of numbness I consider myself totally recovered.

Then emergency gall bladder surgery in late November. That took a good eight weeks to recover from and quite a few visits to my naturopath afterwards to figure out how to live without my gall bladder. It is all good now.

I joined a choir, attended three wonderful anthroposophical conferences, and enjoyed my weekly knit group with a wonderful bunch of new friends.

I saw a dear old friend much more often this past year, enjoying movies, lunches, and dinners.

I attended my forty year high school reunion, and it was lovely.

I helped my sister pack up their house of twenty six years and move to their new life.

I have done alot of de-cluttering in my house and in my life: getting rid of stuff that does not serve me anymore.

There were a few camping trips - the most memorable in the snow on the Duffy Lake Road.

I am writing more, reading more, and still knitting, and yes, probably knitting more.

My daughter visited twice from back east, and so did my son and his new love from across the Rocky Mountains.

I saw my brother successfully undergo chemotherapy. I prayed, and am praying, for those who are undergoing treatments now.

Birthdays were celebrated, holidays feted, festivals were attended and the cycle of the year unfolded.

It has been a full year.

God-willing, I look forward to at least forty-two more.

I am happy.