Thursday, September 8, 2011

Hmmmm

Ok, day three done. Well, technically it is day 2 1/2 but who's counting. Oh, right, I AM!

I just got home from a lovely parent evening - the first of the year. My parents are great. They are the kind of people I want to be friends with, and hopefully when I graduate this class we will be. That is something to be grateful for.

Being grateful isn't so easy this week. School has had some hard moments in the collegial realm, but I am holding fast to my resolve. I think I will have to announce my resolve aloud soon because otherwise people don't seem to get where I am coming from. If you want to kvetch to me about someone else, don't. Go kvetch to them. Ahhh, not so easy.

My class is great. My prep is going well. But, boy, late night with the Board last night, and faculty meeting and parent meeting tonight, and whew! TGIF! No kidding.

I feel a bit sad about this being my last year. Not because I don't want it to be my last year, but what will I do? Well, camp for a number of weeks, perhaps months, but then what? I do feel that this year is my time to pass the torch. Let others step up to the work of running a school, let others fight the dragons, let others swim upstream for awhile.

Me, I am going to float for a bit. Imagining myself in the waters of Grassy Point, or Whaling Station, or Hague Lake. Doing my best, putting myself first. At least for a little while. Just a little while.

I am worried a good friendship is going to suffer this year, going to be lost. I am not sure what to do, if there is even anything to do. I just wish it didn't have to be so.

I don't have a large of number of really close, tell all your secrets to, friends. Well, actually I don't have any tell ALL of my secrets to friends. But, that's ok. I do have friends that have known me for my whole life, or darn near it. I have new friendships that are just beginning to form, and that is lovely to realize. I still have, in my life, the possibility of making new friendships. But still, it is sad to realize some will be lost where there are so many lovely memories.

So, melancholic me, should put herself first, and go to bed. I am reading "The Help", and realizing how lucky I am to live with the advantages I have. Still, going to bed early will be putting myself first. So, off to bed. Tomorrow things may look less dire, and more hopeful, and, well, just different.

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