Thursday, October 20, 2011

Etheric drain

There is a life force around each of us. It is what we have in common with the life force around the plant world. It is our growth force, our healing force, our energy force.
This force is regenerated when we rest, eat well, exercise - take care of ourselves.

These first few days of my new year have been exhausting. Well, actually, I started the week exhausted, but kept telling myself I could push through it. I can't.

I am bone weary tired, but facing a hectic weekend, busy week, and lots of prep and marking to boot. I don't see any respite until after the parent/teacher conferences on November 7/8. Then I will have five days off.....but the lead up to it is crazy.

Training tomorrow and Saturday until 6pm.
Prep on Sunday.
Teaching (duh)
Hosting a guest at school on Tuesday including taking him for dinner.
Wednesday - play rehearsal (hmmmmm, should I be a shepherd, or an angel?)
Thursday - dinner with two school friends.
Saturday - DAY OFF
Sunday - prep
Monday - Halloween!
Tuesday - All soul's day
Thursday - drive to Seattle for conference
Friday - conference
Saturday - conference
Sunday - SLEEP
Monday - parent/teacher conferences
Tuesday - parent/teacher conferences
then.....FIVE DAYS OFF!

To add to this I am not sleeping well these nights, and I have had three migraines in two weeks. That is crazy for me. At the worst I get two a year. There is this niggly thought that it is somehow connected to my eye surgery. Probably not, but still, the thought lingers.....

And, to top it off, I feel like the 'extra' work I am taking on at te school is too much. Too, too much.

I arrived home at 7:15 pm today in tears, those hysterical, can't talk through them, tears. Thank God Brian had a good dinner and a listening ear to talk me down. And, there is Vampire Diaries...... although it is probably bad form to thank God for Vampire Diaries. Just sayin'.

Anyways, I am sad, and mad, and tired, and frustrated, and probably a number of other emotions I could name once I sort myself out. I find working with my Grade Eights is easy and predictable. The adults in my life, including me, not so much.

So, I am going to make some chocolate chip cookies, have a hot bath, and cuddle up in bed with a good book.....maybe tomorrow will look better.

Or, just maybe, I will have to say what has been on my mind for sometime....it won't be easy, but at some point I have to put myself, and my health first. Listening to this, I know it to be true. I do come first. In this case, I do come first.

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