Saturday, September 17, 2016


Ok, the title isn't as morbid as it sounds. But I have been thinking alot about a certain expression. Let me explain.

I just have returned from travelling in New York, Europe and London. I was fretful about going away in the current climate, or seemingly current climate, of terrorism. The thought of being in airports, on airplanes, and in crowded cities caused me some anxiety.

One day while in London I decided to tame my anxiety by doing the only thing that works for me - going for a swim.

I headed for the Olympic Park, because hey, how often do you get to swim in an Olympic venue pool?

As I was swimming my laps I started to think that if I was a terrorist I could come to a pool, like this one, and throw some plugged in device into the pool and all of us in the pool would die, literally, of shock.

Don't blame me. I can't control my thoughts when I swim.

So then, my next thought was that my obituary could read something like: She died doing something she loved.

My next thought was - that's stupid.

Why does our culture think that dying while doing something you love is a good thing? It means you don't get to finish doing the thing you love.

Wouldn't it make more sense to die just before having to do something you hated? Like cleaning the toilet, or going for a root canal. Then, at least, dying would have an upside, you know?

Anyhow, this is how my mind goes.

And then again yesterday as I was swimming laps, I thought about it again. I am doing something I love.

I hope I don't die until it's over.

I didn't.

It was a good swim.

I am going again tomorrow, these rain won't stop me, I am going to be wet anyways.

So, what do you think? Is there a better time to die than doing what you love?

Or is that just me.

Being morbid.


Not my fault.


  1. I want to die like my step-mom. She was 89, a widow. She had loved deeply. She was loved by children, step-children, grand-children and so many friends. She slowly slipped into a coma, surrounded by people she loved and died two days later. Her 40 something grand-daughter lay down beside her nose to nose and held her hands. She said, "It's okay grandma. I know you are worried about us but we'll be okay. You can let go now and rest." That's how I want to die.

  2. I don't know. Aside the last few months where I was suicidal, I generally don't think about my death, but a lot about others'. I can't hear of a death without thinking about my parents and it terrifies me.

    1. it scares me too - the death of those I love. I am not afraid of my own death, but the thoughts of leaving others behind is hard to wrap my head around.

  3. Not morbid at all. Not a bit. I think I just want to slip away unnoticed. Not make a fuss. But I don't think about my own death....only worry about other people.
    Mind you, I'm taking my darling daughter to South Korea next week and as you know, the neighbour there is a tad unfriendly and unstable. But we never consider not going.
    Maybe I just lack imagination.

    1. I will surround you and your girl with white light. All will be well.

  4. For my part, I'm banking on them developing the technology to upload your brain into a computer and then I can just "live" forever. Barring that, I would for sure take getting out of a horrible chore, though. I think you're onto something there.


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