Monday, March 20, 2017

Why I am a Feminist

I don't have to like the things all feminists do or say because I am a feminist.

I don't have to like the things all humans do because I am a human.

I don't have to be black to believe that black lives matter.

I do have to respect that some blacks do not want me in their spaces because I don't make them feel safe. Because I trigger something in them.

I do have to respect that queer, transgendered, or lesbian people may not want me, a cis-gendered woman, in their group.

I can be angry about things some men have done to me, and my sisters-in-arms and not be angry at all men.

I am a feminist because I have sat at meetings and said things that have been ignored but when the very same thing was said by a man at the table it was applauded.

I am a feminist because I have come up with good ideas at meetings that were later attributed to a man.

I am a feminist because I was assaulted in a pub by a table full of boys and I didn't do anything about it. Nor did anyone else.

I am a feminist because I quit a sewing course I was enjoying because a group of boys taunted me on the bus ride home.

I am a feminist because a boy tried to force me to have sex with him and I apologized to him as he drove me home.

I am a feminist because my father wouldn't let my mother work.

I am a feminist because 100 years ago I wouldn't have been allowed to vote.

I am a feminist because women are still considered to be chattal in some cultures and not too long ago in mine.

I am a feminist because a strong women is still considered bitchy, or whiny, and a strong man is considered powerful.

I am a feminist because there still is a glass ceiling.

I am a feminist because there still isn't equal pay for equal work.

I am a feminist because I see all those aged, white men in boardrooms, and parliaments and senates and it makes me crazy.

I am a feminist because I want life to be fair, and it isn't.

I am not throwing out the baby with the bath water.

Just because I speak out for women, or blacks speak out for blacks, or queers speak out for queers doesn't mean that other lives don't matter.

It just means that the lives that are needing to be heard at that moment matter and their cause does not need to be diluted.

Of course we all matter.

Of course we all should be kinder to each other.

We should all be human, just human, but we aren't there yet, and just because a movement makes some mistakes, or gets too militant, it doesn't mean the movement is or was a mistake. It just means we are growing, and learning, and striving.

Maybe being angry isn't the best way, but it is a necessary step in the way.

I don't think we should ever talk in absolutes about all men, or all women, or all blacks, or all muslims, or all christians.

We should talk about behaviours and consequences, causes and effects.

It is true that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

But an eye for an ear makes it harder for me to see you or you to hear me.


  1. I just want to give you a hug for putting into words for me the way I feel as well. Thank you, Mary-Anne.

    1. and thank you for the hug and the kind words.

  2. Yes, hugs! I feel sad and angry that your own needs were sacrificed because of the attitudes of others. As for your words: hear, hear!
    May I share a link to this post?

    1. Thank you - I know I have friends who would love to read this.


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