Sometimes you can't fix the broken things

I spent half a day trying to repair a wooden laundry rack that had been my mother's.  It was a bit of a monkey puzzle, and for the dyslexic in me there was a lot of challenge.

It was hot.
I kept going back to it and finally figured out how it could go together, but many of the dowels were rotted and would take so much time (and frustration) to fix.

I didn't need the laundry rack.  I have a great one of my aunt's that I use to dry my clothes outside on these sunny hot days.

Finally I decided that enough was enough and I just had to let it go.

On the heels of that decision was to let go of another chair of my mother's that was in need of repair.

I loaded them both in the back of my car.

And the chair I gave my mother for her 65th birthday that has been in my carport for...years.

Time to let go.

Memories don't have to be tied up in things, and every time I saw these broken things it made me sad.

It made me think I should fix them.

But not everything is fixable.

There were other things in the carport and in the basement making me sad - and they could be recycled - so I took two trips to the recycling depot.

There are things in my life, broken things, that may not be fixable.

These things remind me of a Stephen Fearing song - As the Crow Flies

Driving through the dead of night
A hundred miles on one headlight
Movin’ on

There are times when you can’t see what’s up ahead
But you make your choice and you make your bed
Movin’ on

Try to heal the things you’ve broken
The words you left unspoken
Learn to say goodbye
Wait for when the moment’s golden
Choose the door that opens
Straight as the crow flies
Movin’ on, movin’ on

With the best of intentions you can lose the day
But you get back up and on your way
Movin’ on

‘Cause people will talk and tell you lies
They flap their lips right before your eyes
Movin’ on

Try to heal the things you’ve broken
The truth you left unspoken
Learn to say goodbye
Wait for when the moment’s golden
Choose the hand that opens
Straight as the crow flies
Movin’ on, movin’ on

Rising from the ash and the dust
You turn the key from hope to trust
And all those hurtful things that were said
Are in the past now look ahead
Movin’ on, movin’ on, movin’ on, movin’ on

Try to heal the things you’ve broken
Don’t leave the truth unspoken
Learn to say goodbye
Wait for when the moment’s golden
Choose the path that opens
Straight as the crow flies
Movin’ on, movin’ on

Driving through the dead of night
A hundred miles on one headlight
A hundred miles
A hundred miles
Movin’ on

I am trying to do this.  Trying to move on.  Learning to say good-bye.

This past month I have been searching for a book I can't find, a quote I can't locate, a jacket I have misplaced.

I am obsessed with finding these things and it is making me crazy(er).  I think that I believe if I can find these lost things then my life will be orderly and okay and all will be right with the world.

But the truth is there are some things I have lost that I will never get back.

There are people I have lost that I will not see again.  At least not in this lifetime.

There are words I have spoken that I cannot take back.

There are words that have been spoken to me that will haunt be forever.

There are bridges burned.

But this week I made some progress.  I got some things out of my way that have been making me sad.

That is good, right?

Yes, that is good. '

Movin' On.