I wanna see you be brave

 Sara Bareilles song Brave took me by surprise a few weeks ago.  It has now become my anthem of sorts. 

I was sitting at my pharmacy waiting for some stupid mix-up to get sorted and I was crying.  

I should back up to four days before this.  My daughter had called and asked me to go with her back to the country where she had lived for five and a half years.  That was a Thursday morning. By Friday morning I had booked a ticket for the following Monday. I had called my doctor to okay getting two months of my prescriptions filled for a trip that would be anywhere from two to three months.  Alas Friday was a holiday, and the next day, Saturday, was well Saturday.  I knew I wouldn't hear from my doctor until Monday but I alerted the pharmacy that the approval would be coming and to have the prescription ready.  They said they would.  

They didn't. 

My flight was leaving at 6:30pm.  I called the doctor office again at 8:30 Monday morning.  Then again at 11am.  

Nothing. 

I went to the pharmacy.  They, at first, refused to fill the prescription without the doctor's okay. 

It was 1pm.  He still hadn't called.  I was scared and alone and in tears sitting in the stupid chair beside the blood pressure machine.  I was making a scene.  I couldn't help it.  I was texting with my husband, my son, my daughter and they were all telling me it was gonna be okay. 

It didn't feel okay. 

And then?  

Then Sara Bareilles song came on over the store's music station. 

"I wanna see you be brave". 

It made me take a deep breath. I texted my daughter of the syncronicity.  I stopped crying.  The pharmacist decided to fill the prescription without the doctor's okay.  By 2pm I was on my way. 

By 3:00 I was leaving the house for the airport.  

Guess who called?

Yup.  My doctor.  He was just picking up his messages.  He said it was fine that they had filled it.

So I got on the plane (despite my worries about CoVid).  Made the connection (despite an hour delay leaving) and met my daughter at the gate of our connecting flights. 

Here I am with her and my granddaughter for the past three weeks.  Sitting in the sun, swimming in the sea, talking with my daughter, and playing Peppa Pig with my granddaughter. 

Sara, you wanted to see me be brave. 

I am.

Every single day.

Brave

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love
Or you can start speaking up

Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle 'neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody's been there
Everybody's been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don't run, stop holding your tongue

Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won't do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don't you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
See you be brave

I just wanna see you (yeah)
I just wanna see you (oh o)
I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you