Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Being scared doesn't mean I am not brave

It is everywhere. Fear mongering. Gas Prices. Genetically modified foods. Pirates. Thugs. Car accidents. Plane crashes. Bombs. Police brutality. Loss of CPP. Interest rates. Inflation. It is everywhere.
Television, radio, newsprint, billboards, conversations in the faculty room. Everywhere.
So, I berate myself for not being brave, for fearing for my husband, my children, my sister, my loved ones. Fearing for all my loved ones.
Isn't that what 'they' want. To keep us afraid. To keep us from venturing outside of our comfort zone. To keep us pondering the 27 varieties of olive oil, or dish soap, or, well, anything really. More choice involves more choosing, and then we don't have the time, or energy, to fret about the 'real' issues.
But, here is the real issue. At least for me.

In Grade Seven I have been teaching about the Protestant movement during that period of History called the Reformation. Re form.
Martin Luther believed we are saved by Faith alone, by Grace alone, by Scripture alone. Sola Fide, Sola Gratia, Sola Scriptura. I don't know about the Scriptures, because how do we really find the truth there within all the translations, and omissions.
But Faith and Grace? I can go there.
To live in this world, as a human being trying to be in relationship with other human beings needs a large amount, for me, of Faith and Grace. I can have one, I can be granted the other.
To be in another's 'Good Graces'. This is a interesting concept. But, I know, in my life, the times I have really moved on is when I have played the card of Grace. It isn't about forgiveness necessarily, nor about forgetting. It is about believing that sometimes you just have to play the card. To grant something to someone else, that, I believe, every day God grants to me.
To be in the Grace of God. It doesn't stop the fears I have in my day to day life, but it does ally the fear I have in what will come in my life after death.
I live by Faith. Faith that I will die in the Grace of God.
So, yes, I am still scared, but as someone once said "It isn't brave if you're not scared."


  1. Here's a poem I wrote years ago with my take on Grace.
    Sister Mary Andrew said,
    My soul is invisible.
    But her hands showed me,
    It was just hidden, inside my chest, beside my heart.
    Sister Mary Andrew said,
    Sins left black spots on my soul,
    Like the dentist's posters of Murphy the Molar.
    Sister Mary Andrew said,
    Mortal sins would leave my soul
    Black as the ace of spades,
    I could see it,
    Complete with the Bicycle card logo.
    Sister Mary Andrew said,
    Grace is a gift from God.
    And I knew I would come out of the confessional
    And find a box, wrapped in gold paper
    With a tag: To Betsy.
    From God, with love.
    And inside.. What?
    A spiritual toothpaste to shine up my soul?
    Years passed, wearing a blue blazer and kilt,
    I became wiser,
    The gold wrapped box and tooth decay sins were left behind.
    The enigmatic grace was forgotten, until...
    My brother said,
    Physical grace comes from being at one with your body,
    Comfortable in your skin.
    And holy Grace comes from being at one with God,
    Comfortable in your spirituality.
    I try to be graceful, and full of Grace
    At peace with my body and my God.
    Until I arrive at the next level,
    This enlightenment satisfies my Bicycle card soul.

  2. I always have to remember that being brave doesn't mean not being scared - it means being scared but doing it anyway.


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