Intent and Resolve

My first test regarding not speaking to a third person about an issue I have with another individual. Without going into details I will tell you it was a powerful moment. I have spent my summer ruminating over something an acquaintance of mine has chosen to do. It involves her children. It has bothered me all summer.

A few days ago I found myself, judgementally, telling a friend my 'opinion' about it all. And, well, you probably guessed it, I had never spoken this face to face with the person involved. So....

Next day I see her and ask for a few minutes of her time. I explain that I have been carrying around something about what she has been doing, and that I clearly had an 'opinion' because I had felt it necessary to share my 'opinion' with someone else. I shared my worries and thoughts with her.

It was amazing. We had a wonderful heart to heart. I got the back story to her decision. A decision that is not easy for her. I left feeling connected to her and her life in a much deeper way. She thanked me, for coming to her. Wow! Now there is a lesson.

It is not easy, especially with certain people where I realize there is a habit of 'nittering'. I am afraid that some friendships will have to change, or be lost, and they are good friendships.

But, that said, I also feel so much more in control. Even at home, sometimes I find myself starting to tell my husband something, then I realize he isn't the person that needs to hear this, and often, really, no one needs to hear this, or that. It is sometimes just petty junk.

So, I am breathing deeply these days trying to speak out of integrity and resolve.

Someone said yesterday 'We are intent driven people, and our intent is powerful. When we think or speak badly of another person we can actually make that person sick.' I know this to be true. It happened to me years ago when I was working on the Mission Reserve. I was unwell, struggling, and a first nation friend of mine said 'You have bad magic coming at you. You need to re-connect with your spiritual practice to protect yourself.' I did, and I got better. Another powerful lesson.

I once heard at a lecture that whenever we think poorly of someone that thought becomes attached to the person in the form of an elemental being. Can you imagine what that would be like? He also said we can reclaim this thought, by sending a good thought towards them, a ray of light.

So today I will be sending light out. Because if I don't my world will become a darker place.