I get asked to do things, often work-related, or sometimes volunteer things and I pipe up and say yes when I really mean no.
I am getting better about this, but not all better.
"They need me."
"If I don't do it I am letting them down."
"They can't find anyone else to do it."
"I am flattered to be asked because they value my abilities so much."
That internal dialogue is only some of the things I say to myself.
I am learning to listen to that still small voice. The one that says what my heart really needs to hear.
"You don't have to take this on."
"This is not your problem."
"You are only doing it for the money and that is not a good enough reason at this point in your life."
"You retired for a reason, and committing to something for three months (or whatever) is not really being retired".
But, really, what I need to say to myself is "It is ok to say no."
No excuses, no apologies, just no.
Sometimes I say yes because I am afraid they will never ask me again. Sometimes I say yes because I want everyone to like me. Sometimes I say yes because it is a way to procrastinate and put off other decisions I need to make in my life.
I will sleep on the current decision I am living with for one more night. Perhaps my angel has some words of wisdom for me.
I already know the answer.
I am just biding my time.