I read many blogs by other bloggers who struggle with mental illness.
Many of them can reflect back on their episodes with humour, or irony, or righteous anger with lots of expletives.
I can't do that.
It is never funny for me, and swearing doesn't help either.
Not when I am in it, for sure, but also not when I am out of it.
It is always painful.
It is always the place where I wish to be anywhere but there.
Robin Williams used to tell amusing anecdotes about his struggles with mental illness.
I don't see the humour in them when I listen to them now. I used to laugh with him but felt uncomfortable for him. For me.
Two of my favourite bloggers are hilarious. They see humour in the most mundane conversations or situations they witness or are part of.
I wish I could write hilarious posts like they do sometimes.
Maybe then, days like today would be more bearable.
But, I doubt it.