In the end

"In the end, only three things matter; how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." Buddha

I think I have loved a lot. And well. I think I have lived gently for the most part. I will continue to love and to live gently. I think in this part of my life I am learning to let go gracefully of those things not meant for me. At least I am trying.

I fret. A lot. I fret because I think I can help others avoid loss, or sadness, or difficulties. I stopped myself today from micro-managing a situation for my husband. I don't even remember what the situation was, but I remember feeling pleased with myself that I just stopped before I got started.

This is a big step for me.

I remember when a favourite toy of my daughter's was stolen I beat myself up so much for that. There was nothing I could have done really. I could have told her not to leave her toy in the front yard, but, really, a nine year old should be able to leave a toy outside when she comes in for a snack. I should have been angry at the thief, but I was more angry at myself. Silly now to think of this, but it was an example of how, as a working mother, I felt I let my children down because I couldn't protect them from life.

So you see, I am working on that third thing: gracefully letting go of things not meant for me.

I figure I have another forty years, give or take, in this life, to sort that one out, because there are many things in this life that are meant for me, and they will need my time and attention.