Monday, April 12, 2021

J is for JOMO

  A to Z(ed) blogging Challenge - (my) Life in the TIme of CoVid-19

J is for JOMO


My son introduced me to this acronym sometime last year.  JOMO stands for Joy of Missing Out.  

There is only one reference to JOMO in my logbook, but it made a huge impact on the way I view myself and my personality.  

JOMO gives me permission to say no to things I don't want to do, or events I don't want to attend.  Even zoom events. 

It took me years to realize I was an introvert.  I tried so hard to be 'the life of the party', but it was like swimming upstream, and very uncomfortable. 

Taking a Myers-Briggs personality test many, many years ago was my first inkling I was an introvert. Ah....I thought, it all makes so much sense. 


I like attending lectures, but I always was so uncomfortable before the event started and after the event ended.  Everyone starts milling around and chatting, and I just don't feel like I want to, or honestly, that anyone wants me to.  This happens too in zoom meetings.  I like attending my twelve step meetings but I get very uncomfortable at the breaks where people are just chatting.  When the meeting ends I want to leave as soon as possible but often feel stuck there not knowing how to make a graceful exit.  

I have recently found a knit group on zoom, and I love attending and listening to the chatter between the women but I don't feel obliged to join in, and they don't seem to mind my quiet presence.  I am grateful for that. 

These thirteen months of lockdown, isolation, avoiding people and places has in many ways been a gift for me.  I think I have done a lot of healing and growing this past year.  I am getting better at ending video chats, or leaving zoom meetings.  I certainly got to practice saying no to people who wanted to come over, or have me go out with them.  

I remember hearing somewhere that when you say no to something, or someone, you are in reality saying yes to yourself. 

I am learning to be myself, and say yes to myself, and perhaps when the pandemic ends I will be not a different person, but a more authentic one.  

Anyone else out there relate to JOMO?



4 comments:

  1. I am an ambivert (a mix of introvert and extrovert). My extrovert side was nourished by gabbing on the phone, attending Zoom meetings, all in the comfort of my home. And my introvert side relished the stay-at-home mandate. Win-win!

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  2. What a fantastic post. You were quite social during the few zoom meetings we had with Yop. There are many of us who have learned to say no over the past 18 months. It is quite liberating. Doing only what brings you joy is a good motto to live by. I would never have thought you an introvert.bbmorenof a cautious person who does not want to put too much out there so as not to be hurt.

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  3. It sounds like you are in a better place saying No to some things. I'm an ISTJ on Myers Briggs, or at least I was when I was tested when I was working. Today was my last evening at the camera club. I have been on the committee and a member for 9 of the last 11 years, the 18 months I was working in London 4 days a week I obviously couldn't keep going. Its taken me a long time to realise I don't know why I was still going. Photography doesn't interest me any more, I'm already Zoom meetings most weekends with the Guild and I kept thinking I couldn't leave as I didn't have an excuse...but finally I've said 'I've lost my photography mojo, I will rejoin if it returns but for now I'm leaving'. As simple as that! If I'm going to be exhausted by social interactions it may as well be about something I'm interested in. Otherwise who am I doing it for? We sound alike I think.

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  4. I've been worried that my social skills will have taken a big hit curing covid. I think I'm an extrovert with introverted tendencies or vice versa. Interesting thoughts today!

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I look forward to reading the comments. It makes me feel like I am not just posting into the void.